Interview with Tiffini Johnson,
Author of The Character
When she’s not acting as a canvas for her girls to paint upon, searching for creepy crawly bugs or found playing any number of imaginative games, Tiffini can be found writing. Writing has been a part of Tiffini’s world for as long as she can remember. She is the author of over 100 books, including 7 published. The majority of her books focus on childhood trauma and the children who must overcome it. She is also an avid reader, horseback rider, chef. She soaks up country music like sunshine and currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee.
MJT: Tiffini, your novel, The Character, has a strong autobiographical tone. What did you want to accomplish with this particular story?
TJ: Writing is, and always has been, a method of healing for me. It is always an extremely personal exercise. I firmly believe God gave me the written word as a means of coping with extremely painful situations. A naturally withdrawn child, stories have always enabled me to voice emotions, thoughts and ideas that I would never have been bold enough to verbalize. I handled a traumatic childhood by writing about it and, as it was for Anna, it became my escape. It was also more than that. The characters I created were my friends. I would often imagine that they were with me when terrible things were happening so that I did not feel alone. I woke up and went to sleep thinking about them. Over time family, friends and schoolmates read and complimented them. This enabled me to believe I was at least pretty good at it. And it made me happy. It inspired a sense of confidence that, however fragile, taught me to believe that dreams are important and worth pursuing. So, with The Character I wanted to try and capture some of that. I wanted others to see that the greatest resource we have comes from seeds God has planted within each of us. I call talents “seeds” because if we ignore them, if we fail to nurture our gifts, they will be of no help to us. But if we acknowledge them and nurture our talents, then they will flourish and bloom into things as radiant as confidence, peace and joy–even, and maybe especially, during our darkest hours. The world is accustomed to seeing abused children resort to violence and drugs and gangs but I wanted to show how -most- abused children cope with the devastation. In essence, this book was my way of telling -my- story.
MJT: What has writing this story done for you from a personal perspective?
TJ: The Character changed my life. It is the book that continues to sell the best out of all seven published ones and it was the story that catapulted the others into larger sales. But, even more than that. I receive e-mails from readers that not only touch my heart but, piece by piece, help me heal. Once, I was approached by a woman I did not know but who had been given the book to read by a friend. Without even greeting me, she said, “There’s no way you could have written that book without having gone through it. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” Taken aback and put on the spot, I nodded, my face flushing. She turned and left, leaving me an emotional heap. What she was telling me was that -she- had been through it. She was telling me that, even though we did not know each other… We did, in a way, because we -knew- from experience what the other had survived. Another reader e-mailed me and said that reading this book was like giving her thoughts a voice and that Ash gave her hope, made her believe she could get through it. Perhaps these readers thought they were just congratulating an author whose book they found worthwhile. But, really, they did so much more. They told me that they understand what it is like to instinctively draw -away- from a man you love because he wants from you the same thing that was once so violently taken. In short, this book and the resulting conversations it inspired showed me that, honest-to-God, I have never been the alien I’ve always felt like. I was never really alone. People underestimate what that knowledge can do but it is a powerful thing to know someone else understands you and does not think you are a dirty or shameful person because you did not ask for help. Also, Ash. Ash continues to remind me that there are good men out there. He continues to support the idea that most men find the idea of hurting a child abhorrent. He reminds me how important it is to play and to relax. And for months after writing the last word, I lulled myself to sleep with his stories–especially the one about the bear and deer.
MJT: How difficult was it for you to write the scenes involving sexual abuse?
TJ: For years, I compared my story of childhood abuse to that of the Holocaust survivor. My experience with abuse was totally irrelevant and insignificant when compared to that of a concentration or death camp victim. As a result, I told myself I had no right to complain. I had no right to speak up because, as painful as being held down, overpowered and violated was, it was still a piece of cake compared to such atrocities as being forced to search the body of a dead loved one for gold. In other words, I convinced myself I was “okay” by telling myself it wasn’t that bad. For years, I thought that in order to justify “making a big deal” out of it, it had to be mind-numbingly terrible, it had to be as bad as something a Nazi might do to a Jew. My book, Me, showcases this thinking. The protagonist in that story, Abrielle, is abused in mind-blowing ways. She is sold by her father multiple times a night to be viciously raped by strangers. While I feel bad for Abrielle, her abuse was sensationalized and fictionalized to the point where it didn’t feel like me. I didn’t have to recall specific memories or re-tell them in vivid detail. With The Character, though, I had to do exactly that. I had to think about specific events in my childhood and voluntarily wade my way through them again. I remember writing one of the first scenes of abuse and feeling unable to breathe. I remember frantically looking for a crack in the ceiling or a picture on the wall on which I could focus my entire being in order to keep from screaming. I developed an abnormal sense of self-control that permeated every area of my life. Recalling these events was excruciating difficult but also vital to my ultimate well-being because it showed me that, while Anna was never in a concentration camp, her abuse -was- terrible. She was never repeatedly sold. She never broke a single bone as a result of her father’s abuse. She was just raped. And writing these very personal scenes as an adult shined a light on the fact that “just rape” was mind numbing in and of itself. One reader said of the book: “It reminded me of a war.” Rape -is- a war: it is a war in which the innocence, confidence, ability to trust and overall potential of a child is systemically and intentionally destroyed. People are horrified when the news channel reports that a bomb or an errant bullet killed or maimed a child during war but, here in the U.S. 1 in 3 little girls and 1 in 5 boys are sexually abused before age 18. Their lives are as shattered as if they had been hit by a bullet. Listen, I read a news article today that said an 8 year old who had been forced to marry a 40-year-old man died last night as a result of internal bleeding from her wedding night. While most 8 year olds physically survive rape, this child demonstrates in a heartbreaking way that children are being viciously attacked and the world just whispers about it. In fact, Todd Baugh, a judge, recently let a rapist get away without serving jail time because he said the 14-year-old girl “behaved older than her chronological age.” In essence, this judge blamed the little girl. She killed herself. By the grace of God, I lived and grew. But a part of me didn’t, a part of me died. A part of every child who is raped dies. And this book tells why.
MJT: What advice would you give to anyone that may suspect a child is being abused?
TJ: Don’t over think it: just tell. If you suspect a child is being abused, don’t talk yourself out of helping that child. Call the authorities. You can do so anonymously. How many poets have turned to drugs instead because no one stood up for them? How many future world-class doctors have turned to prostitution instead because they were taught to believe their bodies meant nothing? If you’ll notice in the book, Ash never directly talks to Anna about her father’s abuse. He just plays with her. He just hugs her. He’s just there for her. You don’t have to be a hero. You just have to play it safe and do what is right. If your suspicions are wrong and the child is safe, nothing bad will come from your call. But if you’re right and a child is being harmed, then not only do you help a child find safety and stop the damaging mind games, but you’ve also told a hurting child: “you matter.” And that can be a life changing revelation that makes the difference between her healing or not. Voltaire once wrote, “Evil exists because good men do nothing.”
MJT: You wrote an interesting scene that takes place in Sunday school where Anna is receiving a lesson about the Fourth Commandment, to honor and obey her parents. What is the message that you want to communicate with the scene?
TJ: This is a touchy and difficult subject for me. My father was never directly confrontational with anyone but me. In fact, someone once said, “you can’t meet him and not like him.” He isn’t a dictator. He’s a chameleon. He could simply look at me and gain my cooperation because I was so afraid of him. When I was young, I hated this commandment because, like Anna did, I thought it was telling me to blindly obey. It wounded me on deep levels to think a God I loved would allow this to happen simply because I was the man’s daughter. Ultimately, this scene tried to voice a struggle I experienced. I never questioned God. He held my hand; He inspired the stories and the books. Everything good in me comes from Him. I never asked “why.” But every time I would recite or read the commandments, a tiny piece of my heart rebelled against this one. It hurt. And yet it also acted as one reason more for me to stay quiet. It wasn’t until I was grown that I understood that, no, that isn’t what the commandment is telling us to do. In fact, the Bible tells parents to care for and protect their children. In my opinion, this commandment talks about truth. If your parents are honorable, then obeying them when they are right brings honor to them, to you and to God. If your parents are dishonorable, then standing your ground and speaking the truth brings honor to God and to you. Becoming a mother myself really underscored this for me. I do not want blind obedience from m girls. I want them to think critically and independently. If they are capable of creating a good enough reason for something, then I should honor and respect their intelligence by giving it serious thought and space. God loves us so much more than even I could love my girls so of course He doesn’t want blind obedience either. It is why He allows Satan to roam free, so that we have the option of choosing Him. Therefore, the 4th Commandment is not about blindly obeying anyone but just learning to respect and love them just as they respect and love you.
MJT: What is your next writing project?
TJ: Currently, I have just started work on a book about human trafficking. Eleven-year-old Maelea lives in Anlong Veng, Cambodia. When her sister becomes sick with dengue fever, her father sells her to a woman from the city, which, sadly, happens frequently in Cambodia. She is told she will go to school and work as a domestic servant but is actually taken to a brothel in the capital. There, she is tortured and sold to “Westerners” for as little as one hundred dollars until one terrible incident leaves her wounded and homeless…. But free. The real issue here is what effect does violence have on the mind… How free are you, really, if the past prevents you from saying, doing or being the person you were before the violence occurred? Sex trafficking in Cambodia is high. In fact, hotels still post signs that say, “No Child Sex.” It is the emotional mind games involved with child abuse in general that has the potential of destroying a life. In the case of child sex trade, those mind games are multiplied by the dozens and aggravated by unbelievable acts of torture that make my stomach roll. While my particular set of characters and events are fictional, the issue and types of torture are very real.
MJT: Do you give talks to groups about child abuse?
TJ: I do. After writing The Character, I was persuaded to register as a speaker for RAINN: a national organization that works with and for survivors of abuse. That opened the door to all kinds of speaking engagements. Now I speak in front of groups sharing the books, telling my story, providing awareness and showcasing the hope that child abuse does not have to be a death sentence.
MJT: If someone would like to have you speak at his or her organization how can the contact you?
TJ: I would love to hear from anyone interested in having me speak! I can be reached at tiffini@tiffinijohnson.com. I speak because I am passionate about connecting with those who need reassurance hope is real, because it aids in my personal healing and because I believe God has called me to do so. For reference, YouTube has one of my recorded speeches and you can listen to an audio version of one on my blog at storiesthatmatterblog.com.
MJT: Where can people buy your books?
TJ: The most cost efficient way is to order them from me directly at my website: tiffinijohnson.com. This secures free shipping and a lower retail price than you will find elsewhere. The books are also available at retailers nationwide by request. A few Barnes and Noble carry them on the shelves while all BN and similar bookstores will ship directly to the customer’s home. Online retailers like Amazon also carry them. In addition, Nashville area bookstores like Parnassus and For His Glory and Bookman Bookwoman stock them.
